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Guess what

2011-08-02 12:35:44 by lycanid

Well I tried to kill my parents but it turns out that they were just fucking around my dad only laughs like one and got his teeth sharpened, my mom was wearing those costume fangs with the glue stuff that goes on the teeth and drank blood on a dare. So i was pissed ad then one of my friends (Wolfiey, more on him if i feel like it) told me that hatred " is the heart of the human condition and if i were to ever hope to control it i would have to give into it : )" and right after he said it the angel and the demon appeared on my shoulders and we were debating ether to beat him up or not, Demon' come on you know you want to beat the crap out of him so do it already' and then the Angel spoke up' I'll rape your mother if you do' and me and the demon looked at him and said 'really what the hell is wrong with you?!' and walked away but the demon stayed and said' Y'know I kinda like it here think I'll stay you mind?', ' no but won't they miss you in hell?', ' Nah, the ol' bastard hates me, me his own nephew', 'wait your uncle is Satan?', 'yeah he hates me because i didn't submit to him', 'what?', 'I didn't want to be satanic so i fled and do you mind if i be your soul?', 'what, how could you possibly be my soul?' 'easy i mix ours together and that combines them so i become your soul.', '...OK'. Now I have a sexual demon for a soul and guess who's gonna be loving that.


2011-08-01 14:34:12 by lycanid

Sorry I havn't posted in a while but my internets been down my family is fucking nuts(this ismy life). I had a dream that I was eating pussy last night and I woke up in a sweat with blood on my face... I have no idea what happened. I found out that my mom has vampirism and my dad's a hyena. I'v got a cousin whose a demon and before you ask yes i have tried to exorcise him but my fucking little sister is under his spell and wont let me... If you are retarded or can't tell it was a tense family reunion.

This is gonna sound really freaking dumb but, I don't care, this is funny shit. My older sister Bethanny woke up two hours later than me today and when she woke up she woke up screaming. Now I don't know if this was because of the plastic model bloody horse head I super glued to the cieling above her head or the bloody cat head on her desk chair. I swear my family is hell sometimes but mostly there funnier than hell. Now you may be thinking what a douche bag but wait till you here my side of the story before you point fingers. My girlfriend came over and I found out about this 15 minuites after me and my sister got done fucking. Beth opened the door and said "I'm sorry but Bobby can't go out with you right now he's in bed with Jennifer and the door's locked so you can guess what their doing up there, have a nice day" and slammed the door in her face. My girl friend broke up with me today. But I got my sister back I super glued a fake bloody horse head above her head, had the dog screw her while I made sure the toilet water from our house would back up into her morning bath water, and I think I killed her cat and left its remains all over her room, all I know about that was it was either me or the dog but even the dog cant lay them out where she would step. So while her screams and shrieks continued my older brother Mark came down and asked the dumbest question any one can ask someone grinning their ass off like an idiot, "Did you do this?", now by this point I'm beginning to laugh my ass off when Jen walks around the corner and gives me a look that somehow made me look down at her panties and by now Mark is joining in the humor and now Dick the Drew, sorry I mean Drew the Dick is rounding the corner and gives my this look that tells me Jelous Justin is coming and I better dissapper and quick so I hid in the dumbest place ever, behind the fridge and sure enough he rounded the corner just as I was sliding it back into position. Amanda was tagging along and he slid the fridge out and set me down in front of Amanda and she asked me this, "Can you sing me your version of little red riding hood?" , and so I sang her Return of the werewolf by Timeless Miracle(If you haven't heard it click here), which sent her into awe at the vivid discription and gory details along with the moon spell twords the end.

my fricking computer has been on the fritz. I think I got drunk or something last night because I don't remember shit and I woke up to a dead squirrel by my head and my girlfriend passed out with a satisfied smile on her face. The reason I woke up at eight in the morning was Amanda screams woke me up, went to see what was wrong and it looked like some deranged animal had gotten in there and what ever it was it tore the shit out of the room and it pleased me to see my little sister so freaked, then my older sister Jennifer walked out of her bedroom with I think whipped cream or cum or something on her face and came up to me and said "had the best night ever my little lycanid" and zipped down my pants and patted my d**k and walked on by, Justin came up behind me and slammed me down to the ground and yelled loud enough to be heard in Calcutta "Listen here you little squirt I can still shove you in your closet and lock you in there forever, so quit ramming my girlfriend with your tail you sumnab- um where's your tail?" and then there was a sudden pounding on the door and he threw me down the hall so i would answer the door. I opened it a crack I smelled something and swung it open as fast as I could and fixed Vincent(Vampy) with an icy stare as he calmly told me that he heard sounds of hardcore sex and wolf sounds and came over to investigate so I let him in and then Jennifer walked out into the living room Vampy turned his charm on and I just stared laughing my ass off as she walked right by him and came over to me. He turned around and asked what she was doing and she said "thanks for the great night last night my little lycanid" and she kissed me on the cheek and I swear you shoulda seen his face turn from curious to pissed to shocked all at once, he shot out the window and I laughed so hard I thought I was going to piss my pants, and then I swear to god i thought I saw Ino and Naruto, I blinked my eyes and instead of Ino and Naruto there was Minn and Derek. I swear at that moment I thought 'what's next, people from my dreams?', now my sisters face is about an inch from mine and I swear these words have never been said at a stranger time "Let's f**k", by now I'm not even trying to figure out what happened last night.

I have no idea what the thing was but I've been getting in more fights, my dad said I'm moar agressive. and I just keep having these weird dreams where I'm sitting in a clearing or a field and bats keep attacking my head but I don't feel a thing then this wolf pack appears and howls at the moon, the bats scatter and then an aroura lights up the sky and these wolves decend from the sky turning to humans as they come near, when they get close enough they say "Hello young one, we are the ancestor wolves, we are dead of the race your people would call werewolves or lycans, no we are the ancestral spirits of the manwolves, we are the Munin." And when I wake up there is a new hole in my clothes, I'm drenched with sweat, my I'm breathing heavily, my pillows and covers are scattered around the room ( example: pillows- one in closet, one next to fish tank), and when I brush my teeth for breakfast my eyes are turning from yellow back to my normal shade of blue. Plus whenever my little sister Amanda's cat sees me it hisses swipes and yowls at me, but when I look at it it runs away from me full of fear, Amanda watched one time and said its because I treat it badly( treat it badly?!, that frickin' thing slashed me on the arm three times, bit me, and all I ever did to it was growl, bark at it) my dads dog Pumpkin(Punky) however when she sees me she runs right over and licks me on the neck. My mom said I've developed a wolfish quality to my looks, my friends say it looks like I've got great plains wolf ears, and canines, so I have no idea what the hell is going on but one of my friends is a claimed psychic(hard not to believe him- correctly predicted three pop quizzes in a row-), and another is a supernatural expert and the two of them agreed[rare] that I am possibly a lycan, I had to corract them there its not lycan or werewolf, its manwolfand thats sorta possible theres a kid at school whose a vamp (he gets most of the girsl -exept for the psychic lovers, were-freaks, and draco-lovers-, and when he smiles half-inch long fangs), god what am I supposed to do if it turns out that I'm a manwolf I'm screwed, I mean i've allready got two people pissed at me, if vampy finds out I'm probably gonna die!!!!!!

I swear im gonna kill those motherf**kers

2010-06-22 15:56:05 by lycanid

apparently some guys that have been hiding in the shodows got pissed off at me for having kurumu as more than a friend, so these six dudes challenged me I accepted and managed to k.o. five of the bastards before their leader -a five-tailed wolf lycan- blind-sided me and knocked me to the floor I was dazed and helpless, I managed to use my blades to slice of three of his tails(don't worry they'll grow back) and he raked his claws up my stomach, then I 'ported the hell out of there as fast as I could to the nurses office made her shit her pants, and she bandaged me up then this really cute ice wolf(yuki onna/ lycan) girl walked in and she had lost an arm, the nurse said she couldn't do anything about it so I said i'd try the girl laughed in my face but moved the stump over to me. 3 mins. later she had an arm that looked exatly like the one on the opposite side, fully fuctional and every thing -it's real not mechanical- she looked at me with astonishment, love, hate, surprise, and wolfishness all at once and hugged me for no particular reson. After I got out of there ran into Kurumu and guess what happened next.

Elwyn sucks

2010-06-20 14:32:11 by lycanid

I was part of the Elwyn tribe of lycans & werewolves, I was the lariad, they kicked me out and I went back to school, first one I saw said "YOKAI ACADEMY", went in signed up next thing I know I'm sharing a dorm with a super cute girl named mizore. Later I walked along the border, went climing through the trees, and dropped into a clearing where a girl was looking a little sick so I went over to her and she tried to use charm on me, I thought sucubbus and said "Wazzup my names Bobby, and you are...?" "Kurumu Korono" she said. Teleported out of there fast as I could and started soaring above the school, got tired and landed in front of this vampire girl... will finish later.